Found by way of Gizmodo. Pretty funny take on the whole ‘I see Jesus in my (insert object)’ nonsense.

Of course it’s already the 22nd in Japan, so we should be hearing about people disappearing already, right? Not necessarily since Japan is one of the most secular nations, behind only the Scandinavian countries perhaps, so we’ll have to wait a bit longer today, I guess. China? Nope. Russia? Maybe, but despite the number of professed Christians there, are they really the “right” kind of Christians? In other words, are they doing it “right”, are they truly “Rapture Ready”? I think the “Rapture Ready” crowd would say no to that, as well as Greek Orthodox or certainly Catholics so when will we start to see people disappearing? Probably not until the holy tractor beam passes over the eastern US, but even then it shouldn’t be noticeable until the South falls under the beam.

I think it would be funny if some dark horses won the Rapture prize. Wouldn’t it be funny if Westboro disappeared? I know it would be great for us left behind. Same thing for the snake handlers and the KKK. Now it would be devastating for the Mormons and other anti-gay Christians if the gay-friendly churches got Raptured, but then we who are left behind would get the worse end of the deal, except that the gay houses would be nice to take over, what with the art and abundance of antiques and Mission style furniture.

So I hope you all have your targets ready and are watching, or else you’ll be fighting it out like on a Black Friday morning when there are only a few iPads left. Good luck with that.

Please take a few minutes to complete this survey
 for the Family Research Council.
Your answers are confidential; at no point will we ask you for your name or contact information.
Thank you!

Question:
Off the top of your head, what comes to mind when you think of the Family Research Council?

Evil

Question:
In your own words, please describe what the Family Research Council does.  If you’re not sure, just describe as much as you can.

Attempt to impose beliefs on others, often causing measurable harm.

Question:
Which of the following best describes how well you feel you know the Family Research Council (FRC)?

I feel like I know just about everything there is to know about FRC.

The next was a list of things you can agree or disagree with. I gave a “Strongly Disagree” with all except on ‘provides me with information’ and on whether they’re a resource when in doubt on an issue. Those I gave a “Strongly Agree” because they provide info on the crazy perspective and if in doubt on an issue, it’s a safe bet to take the contrary position to whatever they recommend.

Question:
Have you ever visited the Family Research Council website?

Yes

The next question was a number of options on site design but the following one was on how best they should advertise, so I chose them all because I’d like to see them expend as much time and money as possible on advertising.

Question:
Have you ever financially supported the Family Research Council?

No

Question:
Briefly explain your reasoning for the above response. In other words, if you have financially supported FRC, what are some of the main reasons for doing so? If you haven’t, what factors or issues have prevented or kept you from supporting FRC?

Answer #1, the FRC is evil.

The rest is demographic info, except that they try to phish for where they should advertise by asking how frequently you read the paper, tweet, etc, so I chose all (ie – see waste time and money advertising).