Gawd Does Hate the Gay

It’s official! With Nashville underwater, we see now how such a thing could happen. Chely Wright is gay. CLEARLY the wrath of Gawd is evident, and it must have been devastating for Him to do this since you know Country is the official music of Gawd (or so I’m told). Sure, women not wearing burkas makes Gawd cause earthquakes, but nothing gets his dander up like the gay. Remember Katrina?

Well it’s also just been confirmed that the disaster unfolding in the Gulf currently was also caused by Gawd in response to the presence of one platform worker allegedly being gay. Sources say Randall, seen below (the one with sunglasses on the right), was rather “flamboyant” but was a good worker. His gay-hood could not be confirmed, but you can’t hide gay from Gawd.

NEWSFLASH: This just in, Gov. Perry calls the oil leak an act of Gawd, but warns against “knee-jerk” reactions to it (excluding invoking Gawd, of course).

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24 Responses to “Gawd Does Hate the Gay”

  1. Good argument, QF. Since the Gulf was already fucked up, don't blame the drillers for making it far worse.

    Many left-wingers, by the way, do not approve of our Oil-Adoring Culture at all, no matter where the drilling is being done. But don't let facts get in the way of your biases.

  2. The left-wingers are perfectly well approving every time they swipe their credit cards at the gas pump.

  3. Maybe some god is angry at right-wingers for drilling, baby, drilling. Or, perhaps, he has something against dentists.

  4. Oil has to come from somewhere. I guess it's perfectly okay if with the left wingers if that oil is being drilled in the middle east, baby, the middle east. And, they never seem to know the fact that the Gulf of Mexico already was a giant fishkill deadzone due to excessive nutrients being washed in via vast acres of farmland firtilization along the Mississippi River prior to any oil spillage event.

  5. Oh, yeah, I must have forgotten about those card-swiping left-wingers.

    Another brilliant point scored by QF. Do you have anything intelligent to say, or are you merely going to continue spouting Limbaughisms here? It seems like you're working very hard to excuse BP.

    Maybe the oil-rig explosion was caused by the gays, huh?

  6. I'm glad you pointed out that Randall was the guy in the shades. I never would have picked him out of the lineup otherwise.

  7. I've got something brilliant to say "Scientists and technicians everywhere are working on solving our energy problems"

  8. I know, right? I would have assumed it was the guy on the left. Mustaches are gay.

  9. I'm going to have to agree, you're not making any sense. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

  10. Haven't you been watching the news? We happily tase people here in Philly when they run onto the field and act silly. Outside of stadiums though, we'll just shoot you. :)

  11. Don't tase me bro, I didn't do anything, you're only supposed to tase people if they're not on pot.

  12. QM is right. Liberals complain about air pollution, yet keep breathing. I bet they don't even stop drinking water despite this disaster. What a bunch of hypocrites.

    That would be like science deniers using computers, which would never happen.

  13. QF, that is.

  14. A couple possible solutions (the last one is my idea):

    Oil Solutions

  15. A couple possible solutions (the last one is my idea):

    Oil Solutions

  16. A couple possible solutions (the last one is my idea):

    Oil Solutions

  17. New Orleans obviously didn't get Gawd's message when he tried to drown them five years ago, so now he's going to cover them in oil…

    Hmmm. That oil idea looks a bit kinky to me – maybe Gawd is gay!

  18. Well he's taking it out on his people, because business is hurting on the Redneck Riviera due to the oil.

  19. I am think that our friend George Alan Reker agrees with you, Chappie. What can be more kinky to him than imagining Randall covered in "dirty" oil.

  20. It's that whole Job thing. As a Christian, I heard those who bitched about their god not helping them referred to as "fair weather Christians." Sure, anyone can be a bleeber when life's all sunshine and lollipops. It takes a real Christian to keep the faith when Jehovah allows Satan to murder his family over a bet.

  21. I didn't know that about Chely Wright.

    By the way. Who the fuck is Chely Wright?

    (Though kudos on her courage to slip out of the closet in her business)

  22. If only Mitch McConnell, Lindsey Graham, and Larry Craig would follow her brave example and come out of the closet. Or in Craig's case, the stall.

  23. She wrote a song called "Bumper of my SUV" after some broad in a minivan gave her the finger for having a Marines bumpersticker. Alternate, more rationale, hypotheses include: her getting the finger for driving a monster-sized fuel gobbler (alone?) or that she got the finger for cutting off the minivan.

  24. Many thanks for this amazing post!

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