Fine Print


I think in general, people don’t pay enough attention to what they’re doing and their surroundings. We have plenty of sad tales of people texting and so forth when they’re driving, which is probably the worst example, and also an example that most people really can’t multitask. Well before you get self-righteous, how often do you read all the fine print to forms you sign, disclaimers, the full list of rules when joining something online or even rights and protections when purchasing online? I’m betting that like most people, myself included, you just ignore all that. Sign the paper, click the box on the page, and get on with it. Here are two examples of why you should read that stuff, one annoying and one hilarious.

The first deals with a cg application which is getting a lot of attention because it’s the first to implement Disney’s new ptex innovation, eliminating the need for uvs. If you don’t know what that is, don’t worry about. The point is, most users are all over this app trying to make it work but who reads the stuff on the site not directly related to how the app works? From a brief questioning of cg artists, next to none. This time I actually was curious (admittedly, I had time to kill waiting for the app to download) and poked around the site and found this page entitled “Our voice.”

We are Christians. Jesus Christ said, “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks come, but woe to him through whom they come!” (Luke 17,2) God concerns hatred to a murder and lust as adultery. We’re highly worried about level of morality in our society when depravity often becomes a norm of life. That’s why as the program creators we ask you to consider respect to us and our principles with which, we suppose, may agree not only Christians but also everyone who are worried about society’s moral state.

As 3D-Coat creators we ask you not to use the program for making pictures which would increase vices, especially pictures that would provoke dissolute thoughts. We all have responsibility before God and before mankind for everything we’re doing.

Are you fucking kidding me? Well I for one am tempted to have my first work with this app be as un-Christian as I can. I could go to great lengths attacking their so-called morality, showing how it and other religions are actually the most intense instruments for division in the world and thus, the roots of what they’re complaining about but why bother? It’s an extraneous bit of crap on their website that has no impact on my usage of the app nor my access to it so I don’t really care, but I found it amazing how few artists knew about this page.

Now the next story, imo, is also harmless but to many of the religious, it’s quite serious and frightening. Now as I grew up, I was told virtually everything I liked was going to put my soul at risk and send me to hell. Dungeons & Dragons, Heavy Metal, comic books, video games, you name it. Even if I thought I had a soul, I probably would have still laughed at those people saying such things, but an online video game store went one better and played along as part of an April Fool’s gaga, adding the following to the purchasing contract which no one reads and just clicks the “I accept the Terms” button:

By placing an order via this Web site on the first day of the fourth month of the year 2010 Anno Domini, you agree to grant Us a non transferable option to claim, for now and for ever more, your immortal soul. Should We wish to exercise this option, you agree to surrender your immortal soul, and any claim you may have on it, within 5 (five) working days of receiving written notification from gamesation.co.uk or one of its duly authorised minions.

Fabulous! They’re estimating that they have possession of approximately 7,500 souls. Not too shabby. You and I can laugh, but there are probably people actually terrified by this (more than likely the customers’ mothers). Ok, so this still probably isn’t enough to make you read the next thing like this, but here’s something that might. Those who did were rewarded with a box to click to opt out and if they did that, they got a £5 voucher. My guess is more people would read if they thought they’d get money rather than for fear of their souls, but that’s pure speculation.

Btw, they’re going to give the souls back, via email.

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8 Responses to “Fine Print”

  1. Philly,

    I've been trying for years to find someone who would pay me hard cash for my soul. Best possible scenario, of course, would be to find a dozen or more people to pay me for it. Still no luck. You'd think the believers would be happy to have an extra, just in case.

  2. Well it's one thing to sell it, but it's another to just give it away to a game store. I agree, I'd gladly sell it and the invisible dragon in my garage for some cold, hard cash. Why, I'd even part with them for some cold beers, but they better be good beers.

  3. Shit! A £5 voucher? I knew I should have held out.

    I donated my soul to an atheist charity and all I got was this lousy invisible T-shirt.

  4. Don't you mean Atheist charity? It is a religion, you know. Btw, does that mean it could qualify for faith-based funding, and where's our tax exemption?

  5. Never mind our tax-exemption. Where's my fucking T-shirt? (I can never find it when I take it off.)

  6. Every one have some emotions in living but when you are going to write a book then you need to get the exact one.Many educational center you get like that how teach you explore things into it.

  7. I knew I should have held out.

  8. I am happy to find this post very helpful for me.

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