Hey, I’m just like Brad Pitt

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It seems that aside from being clever atheists who have hot wives, Brad Pitt and I have more in common than I had imagined. In response to the questions of his running for mayor of New Orleans on the Today show, he revealed the even greater similarities…

“I’m running on the gay marriage, no religion, legalization and taxation of marijuana platform. I don’t have a chance.”

Indeed, those things are, in most of America, a death sentence for anyone’s political aspirations. Oh sure, maybe one or two might not kill you, but all of them? Forget it. The sad thing is each of those stances are not necessarily subjective issues like preferring vanilla over chocolate, but rather they are perfectly rational stances and opposition to them is purely irrational and selfish.

Gay marriage is simply an equal rights issue, and opposing it is in direct opposition to our constitution, regardless of what the “real Americans” claim. It’s simply an issue of one group wishing to make themselves feel special at the expense of others, like walking into a club past the bouncer and escorted to a private VIP lounge while the rabble remains outside behind the red velvet rope. You want to talk elitism, I can’t think of a better example of it than people opposed to gay marriage, and you’d have to go back some 60 years to see anything comparable such as segregation defenders. Well I went into greater detail on this before, so I’ll just move on now.

Now I’m not so clear exactly what he means by no religion, but I hope it’s simply a defense of the Establishment Clause and the separation of church and state. Like the Civil Rights movement and the current equal rights movement for gays, it’s incredibly sad to see how long it’s taking to turn the promises of our constitution into a reality. Now we of course have the national motto and religious items on display on government property, but can you believe that here in the 21st century there are currently lawsuits to stop city council meetings from opening with Christian prayers? And I’m not just talking about the tiny towns from the red states of Jesusland, I’m talking about Philadelphia, too.

As for marijuana, it’s an example of the futility of the War on Drugs and the completely crap which is the foundation for that war. Prohibition proved what happens when you criminalize certain indulgences outright. Far from eliminating demand, it serves to amplify it, and along with that you have nefarious elements who will gladly service that demand for a substantial profit and with such profits gain the power to commit real crimes. A 2005 cost-benefit analysis of marijuana prohibition by Jeffrey Miron, a Harvard economist, calculated that ending marijuana prohibition would save $7.7 billion in direct state and federal law enforcement costs while generating more than $6 billion a year if it were taxed at the same rate as alcohol and tobacco. This began as something to appease the religious nutters who had their prohibition of alcohol vanquished, then became an empty gesture for politicians to support as if they were actually doing something, and now is a propaganda machine for the pharmaceutical industry who have a vested interest in eliminating competition.

So yes, sadly in a country when people are more easily convinced by lies and irrational appeals to their fears and vanity, anyone running on a platform like Pitt’s and mine doesn’t have a chance.

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12 Responses to “Hey, I’m just like Brad Pitt”

  1. Aside from being a good looking atheist, is Brad actually qualified to run a city the size of New Orleans?

  2. "…they are perfectly rational stances and opposition to them is purely irrational and selfish.

    Why prejudge all dissent as irrational and selfish? I would image a person could come up with rational, non-selfish reasons for supporting religion and opposing legalized weed. I'm with you on the gay marriage thing, though. I don't think anyone could offer a rational, non-selfish reason for opposing gay marriage.

  3. Yeah, Brad Pitt is rad.

  4. aside from being clever atheists who have hot wives, Brad Pitt and I have more in common than I had imagined.

    Don't forget that you are so smokin' hot that I almost want to get rid of your wife, smoke a joint and marry you in a non-religious ceremony.

  5. I'm so hot I breathe fire, as seen above in the unholy trinity of me. I bet Brad can't do that.

  6. Is that you up there? All three of you? Well, I guess there is one thing you and Brad don't share.

    Now I’m not so clear exactly what he means by no religion, but I hope it’s simply a defense of the Establishment Clause and the separation of church and state.

    Gee. I was hoping his stance was a total outlaw of all religion in NO, with maybe an Inquisition to boot.

  7. Is that you up there? All three of you? Well, I guess there is one thing you and Brad don't share.

    Now I’m not so clear exactly what he means by no religion, but I hope it’s simply a defense of the Establishment Clause and the separation of church and state.

    Gee. I was hoping his stance was a total outlaw of all religion in NO, with maybe a reverse Inquisition to boot. <div style="margin: 6px 0pt 0pt; display: block;"><a class="a2a_dd" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save"><img src="http://static.addtoany.com/buttons/share_save_171_16.png&quot; alt="Share/Save/Bookmark" border="0" height="16" width="171">

  8. Is that you up there? All three of you? Well, I guess there is one thing you and Brad don't share.

    Now I’m not so clear exactly what he means by no religion, but I hope it’s simply a defense of the Establishment Clause and the separation of church and state.

    Gee. I was hoping his stance was a total outlaw of all religion in NO, with maybe a reverse Inquisition to boot.

  9. In case you didn't know (which I doubt) Pitt was on Bill Maher last Friday. No surprise that Bill would want him on after he read You Made Me Say It. Anyway – pretty fucking good interview and I definitely have a new respect for Pitt. You can catch it on YouTube.

  10. Thanks, I'll look for that. I love excerpts from that show, but I've never managed to sit through an entire episode before. I haven't seen his movie, either.

  11. I've never been a huge fan of his work, really, but he seems like a pretty decent guy, based on that little snippet. Though I doubt he's qualified to run NO. Few are, really. That place is a labyrinth of graft, corruption, and skanky accents. Buddha would drink himself to sleep every night if he were mayor of that city.

    And yeah, it'd be nice if, should he choose to run, he really stood on zero tolerance for religion. He'd be my hero–and for long after he'd been assassinated.

  12. All you have to do is watch all of Brad Pitt’s movies to believe how deversified he is. I love you Brad! Keep up all the kindness you and Angie are doing. The two of you are amazing together

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