Cheaply earned miracle

So here’s what may pass for a miracle these days, a family prayed to the founder of an order of nuns when their unborn child was diagnosed with a genetic abnormality. When the kid was born, there was no sign of the abnormality. Nah, I’m just kidding, it was still there, but not to “the degree it had been expected.” Miracle!


Now maybe this is one of the examples of you get what you pay for. The founder of a group of nuns? Why would you pray to a relative nobody? At least pray to an already established saint, right? Then of course, there’s the big guy. No, not recently dead Dom Deluise, but the big sky daddy, the grand poobah of the heavens, god. Why not just pray to the source? Ah, but then praying to any of them would mean you’d be indebted to them, but some broad who founded a nun order? Well then, you can pitch it as a deal, a sort of mutual back scratching. Cure my kid, and I’ll tell everyone and you can then have a shot at becoming a saint. Well look what happens when you try to get crafty, the “cure” is, well, not exactly a full cure.

Of course for Mother Mary Angeline Teresa McCrory, quite a sweet deal, no? Minimal effort and – BING! – a miracle. Of course as time goes on, scoring a miracle credit just gets easier and easier. No more parting sees, raising dead, or any of that hard stuff. Nope, just make a diagnosed genetic abnormality appear not as big as predicted. Wow!

Btw, am I the only one scratching their head over “Carmelite Sisters superior general Mother Mark Louis Randall”?

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17 Responses to “Cheaply earned miracle”

  1. I have to say that you finally made me realize why people pray to “saints” church recognized or not.

    The “saints” have NOT inspired a book like the Bible with rules, regulations, and commandments; therefore, you can sin at pleasure and still pray with a clear conscious.

    If you go to sky daddy, all your sins will be in the way.

    As it turns out, the “saints” are nicer that God. In other words, the competition has fewer requirements, so they get more prayers that the Big Enchilada.

  2. It’s mainly the Catholic branch of Christianity that has “saints”, and even where some others might recognize some historical figures as saints, they aren’t generally prayed to.

    Even things like Mormonism have no allowances for praying to Joseph Smith or the angel Moroni. So what’s up, you ask, with the Papists?

    I can only speculate. The Catholic Church is, I believe, the closest direct descendant of early Christianity. They are certainly the biggest of all Christian denominations and, thus, the biggest of the original and still existing descendants.

    Let’s remember where they were located and what they were attempting (eventually successfully) to replace – a multi-deity Roman religion where everyone had their own favorite god to pray to. I’m guessing that the whole “saint” bullshit and allowing prayers to them was considered a minor concession to ween the faithful away from Jupiter and boys (like having a big Christ birthday bash on the date of the biggest pagan festival). But I’m just tossing out an educated guess.

  3. Actually, Catholicism is Paganism, pure-dee simple. It’s like John described, and has nothing to do with true Christianity, whatsoever. So, Chief, your diatribe over us worshipers of “Sky-daddy” is, as per usual, futile.

    According to scripture, any believer is classed as a saint. Paul often addressed his readers and/or audience as saints. Anyone familiar with the Bible would have known that.

    I can tell there’s some real attitude with some of the commenters, here, and not just the host. Perhaps, some errant pagan priest diddled where he shouldn’t have, back in someone’s past? One shouldn’t let the actions of one asshole or assholes turn one off of Sky-daddyism.

    Many people are killed from drunk drivers, every year… what, you gonna give up on driving, now?

    Sheesh!

    P.S. You might want to go back and spell-check your post, Chief. Kinda fucks up the flow of things having to translate your words into English!

    One hint: Sees = Seas.

    (I won’t even touch Lorena’s comment! LOL!)

    ;-)

  4. I think perhaps you’re angry no errant priest ever fancied you, so you became a born again nutter who now calls Catholics not real Christians. Tough luck, Cupcake, they’re part of your little club too, along with the Mormons and the Jehovah Witnesses. You all might have separate padded rooms, but you all share the same asylum.

  5. The saints aren’t “nicer” than God, they’re just as non-existent as God, no matter who you pray to, you’re just talking to yourself, as any rational person should realize.

    I love to see the rationalizations that theists offer for their irrational actions.

  6. Philly,

    I hope you’re not somehow mocking Dom. Just know that He will not be mocked, (except, for some reason, by Burt Reynolds).

    As for this Gideon guy; as I’m sure you know, being a religious nutter and a low-grade jerk is alright if you stick a little winky-face at the end of your comment.

  7. I believe Torquemada used to put smiley faces on the inside of iron maidens.

  8. I like telling religious people that the only real miracles are in the fields of scientific discovery and technological progress, and that the only true miracle workers are the people whom make this world a better place than it was when they got here …. eccentrically patronizing to their gods and yet still undeniably true.

  9. The Bible is a comic book for misguided geeks.

  10. God’s powers are fading badly. I’m not sure how much more he can fade before he disappears completely.

  11. No, the “saints” aren’t nicer and are as non-existent.

    I was explaining the mentality of a Catholic, which I know really well from growing up in Latin America.

    If anybody can’t understand the in-jest nature of my comment, that really is too bad.

  12. the saints are not ‘non-existent.’ they just suck. much like the chiefs.

    I agree, though, that the level of miracle has dropped. Form parting the Red Sea (and magically removing all archaeological evidence of the Israelites ever having been in Egypt), raising the dead, chaining water to wine, raising the dead, to appearing on toast, a cheetoh, and reducing the severity of a birth defect. He is getting a little thin.

  13. Wanker

  14. What next will the crazy holy rollups think up next!? Jesus causing female orgasms?

  15. Philly: You’re welcome.

    QF: Having attended services at a fundogelical church down in Washington County, Maryland, and having watched the reactions of some of the men and women in the pews, they could very well have been experiencing Jesus-induced orgasms at the thought of sinners burning in hell for eternity through the love of Jesus. Not sure if that qualifies as a miracle or not. Or maybe they were achieving ecstasy listening to the descriptions of the sins themselves. Either way, ew.

  16. So Billy, what was the coffee and doughnuts session like then?

  17. QF: No coffee. Ice tea instead (summer) and crackers with (I kid you not) cheese whiz.

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