Hail Satan!


Imagine, if you would, a man incarcerated at the county jail. Now imagine his sacred religious pendant taken from him by the guards, denied access to religious materials of his faith, and openly ridiculed for his faith. Further imagine that due to his religious beliefs, he was placed in situations where violence was expected and he did in fact suffer harassment and retaliation. Sounds like religious persecution, no? Clearly a violation of his civil rights. Anyway, assuming the man was Christian, he’d have no problem winning his $10 million lawsuit, but what if he were a Satanist? Well I suppose Mr. Indreland may one day find out.

Here’s yet another fun example of what happens when we establish special privileges for religion. Prisoners have no right to property except religious crap, so guess what? Satan boy needs his magic Satan medallion. If the religious have rights to religious material, then guess what? Satan boy has a right to get his devil books, daily readers, hymnals, whatever.

Now what I have a problem with is whining about being ridiculed for your religious beliefs. Aside from imagining Satan not looking too fondly upon his minions’ whining, I just don’t see why anyone should get special privilege to not be ridiculed if the ridicule is based on your religious beliefs. What? Look, everyone has a right to believe what they want, including believing your belief is bonkers, and we all have the right to tell each other we think the other is bonkers for believing what they believe.

As for being put in dangerous situations, I don’t know. Isn’t prison supposed to be dangerous? If you happen to be in the minority (or THE minority), how could you be kept free of potentially violent situations? I’d say be happy any day you don’t get ass raped, stabbed, or forced to perform some heinous act like tossing some salad and move on.

Now what I’d find amusing to read would be some account afterwards if he wins of how this clearly shows the power of Satan, the value of holding to and fighting for your faith against incredible odds and in dire situations, how all should pray in light of this miracle, and also to see him work the talk show circuit and be interviewed by Oprah and Matt Lauer. You know, a nice, wholesome, down home story of faith triumphing. A truly inspirational tale. :)

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8 Responses to “Hail Satan!”

  1. I don’t understand why people in jail aren’t given a more productive reading material than religious fluff. Shouldn’t they be forced to read books on ecconomics and science so they can be productive when they get out?

  2. Oh, you still believe prison serves a rehabilitory function. How cute. :)

  3. Idealistically, hey if rehabilitation takes getting assfucked and asskicked by hardcore criminals too more power to that….

  4. or it makes one a hardcore criminal, or something else totally fucked up.

  5. They should be given legal textbooks so they can figure out how to defend themselves.

  6. Shouldn’t they be forced to read books on economics and science so they can be productive when they get out?

    The last thing anyone needs is a bunch of yobs with malfunctioning consciences getting a mess o’ book-larnin’. As slow on the uptake as law enforcement can be, they’re generally one step ahead of most criminals. It should stay that way.

    As for that Easter-andChristmas Satanist . . . if he were really a true disciple of his Infernal Majesty, he’d have killed his way through half of gen-pop, and ass-raped the other half, by now. And all without the help of tacky jewelry.

    Theism is silly, but a watered-down Satanist is way worse than a watered-down Christian. Satanists, at least, are supposed to be edgy and badass. This guy’s just a whiner.

  7. I'm pretty sure that Satan (Bigfoot's Landlord) inspired the Holy Christian Bible. I think that God (Shiva's Zues-Neptune 3-way crossbreed) just took all the credit for it.

  8. They should be given legal textbooks so they can figure out how to defend themselves.

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