Never Go Full Retard


Great update on this story. It seems Beulah, ND won’t be banning Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil from the high school library after all. I wish I could say it was because the school board came to its senses, but the chairman of the board, Phil Eastgate, said the ban left the board open to a lawsuit it likely could not win.

I’m more impressed though from the school superintendent Rob Lech who, in the Robert Downey Jr. role from Tropic Thunder, said the board may have followed school policy in removing the book but board members missed at least one step, reading the book. He went on to say, “[w]e know it’s a dark, ugly book, but sometimes the world is a dark, ugly place.” That’s right folks, you never go full retard. You have to at least read the book first, and you can’t simply ban things you either don’t like or think is scary.

Nevertheless, the school board is still trying to fuck things up by suggesting the creation of a special class of books which students could only access with parental permission. Naturally, teachers are concerned about what this would mean for their classes. I mean, how can you have as part of your curriculum a book which a parent can deny their kid from having access to? Again, Lech was the voice of reason wondering about the whole process of judging books for this restricted access.

I’ll finish with a quote from high school senior Olivia O’Quinn, “banning books promotes ignorance.”

———–

Btw, Robert Downey Jr. scored an oscar nomination today for his role in Tropic Thunder.

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21 Responses to “Never Go Full Retard”

  1. I haven’t seen that movie yet, I wonder just how offensive that seen I keep hearing about is to the, er, very low iq’d.

  2. You have to go rent Tropic Thunder.

  3. I’m glad they did the right thing, but it’s so annoying when the right thing gets done for the wrong reason. It easily devolves into that end justifies the means situation.

  4. I’m absolutely confident that he will beat out Heath Ledger in that particular category.

    You liked Tropic Thunder Philly? Hmm. All I can say is it featured a lot of ego.

  5. Sean Penn went full retard in I am Sam – didn’t get an oscar.

  6. I’ve added the clip from Tropic Thunder. I thought he mentioned Penn, but no. Still, I guess that proves the point. You go full retard, and you’ll get no Oscar.

    The megalomania in the movie was hysterical, and that crazy Zeno believing fuck Tom Cruise was awesome.

    Perhaps when the board memebers were doing their “research” of renting Midnight… they also rented Tropic Thunder.

  7. Well, I borrowed it from my brother last night, that movie was so horrible. I think that hollywood is seriously dumming down America. Also, why the hell does Jack Black always play a dipshit whacked out on drugs!? Being addicted to drugs is no laughing matter, nor is being retarded, nor is being cornholled.

    I almost feel as though there should be a god that booms out what I just said from the sky during the filming of that movie, but of course it didn’t happen though, that kind of thing never happens der.

  8. I’ll admit though, that clip is funny.

  9. It’s pretty epic that I was quoted. :) Just so you all know, not everyone in Beulah is a closed-minded fascist, but I don’t blame you for thinking that after the press attention we’ve gotten.

  10. I’d say retard over fascist, Olivia. Anyway, I wish you the best for the remainder of the year and for college.

  11. Speaking of books available to kids in the school library, years ago I was student teaching for a semester. At the time, I thought I wanted to be a social studies teacher.

    Anyway, the Social Studies department (including those of us who were student teachers) had a meeting with the school librarian so she could talk to us about the services the library had to offer as well as some new books they had recently acquired.

    One of the books she showed us was called “Eyewitness to History”, which featured excerpts from various people throughout history who wrote of famous events or described their experiences in foreign lands and such.

    I inwardly chucked as she described the book, because it just so happened that I had bought that very same book several years earlier. I also was amused, because it was clear to me the librarian had not read the book, because one of the excerpts in the book was one European traveler’s firsthand description of his exploits in a Cairo whorehouse, even going so far as to describe one prostitute’s cunt as feeling like rolls of velvet.

    I was partly tempted to tell the librarian about it, but I didn’t want to embarass her either. I also thought of the teenage kids who might stumble on the passage. “Hey guys, check this out!” Why deprive them of the experience?

  12. Well there needs to be some reward for these kids to read, right?

  13. Speaking of bad movies, has anyone seen Benjamin Button? Having only just watched it, may I ask the assembled masses what the fuck the big deal is? It was terrible! I don’t how old he was when he died at the end of the movie, but I felt like I’d aged two years.

  14. I'm really just interested in it from a technical aspect. Over half the movie, they composited a cg Brad Pitt head on other actor's bodies. That's insane.

    As for plot, wasn't this done before in Mork & Mindy?

  15. As for plot, wasn't this done before in Mork & Mindy?

    You mean other than the whole F. Scott Fitzgerald aspect?

    I didn’t realize they’d CG’d his head onto other actors’ bodies. So that’s why it looked so odd. Oh well. I thought the execution of the movie was just terrible.

  16. You quote Olivia O’Quinn, saying “banning books promotes ignorance.” as if the school board isn’t aware of that. Of course they want to promote ignorance. That is their whole mantra. They fear opening a child’s mind to a different view or opinion and book banning is just the beginning. But you guys know this.

    A nutless monkey can do their jobs.

  17. I don’t think they see it that way at all. I think what they see is:
    • a need to eliminate things which will piss off parents, which will result in having to hear shit from pissed off parents
    and/or
    • a need to protect children.

    I’m betting the first one is really all they’re concerned with, especially considering how they backed off at the possibility of not just a lawsuit, but losing one. I think these people want a low stress, low effort job which pays high prestigious dividends. Making everyone happy then becomes the only real concern, especially when the job is one obtained by election.

    Yes, some get on boards like this to push an agenda (ahem, Creationism, cough), but mostly I think it’s a cushy, feather in the cap kind of job.

  18. Tropic Thunder was hilarious, and “never go full retard”? Advice that applies to every area of every life. Much more useful than any zen koan I’ve ever come across.

    I still can’t get over the school board taking their educational cues from the school janitor . . . who didn’t even finish the book. And they didn’t even read it themselves. These people who’ve probably given their kids money to see moves that make Midnight look like Dick and Jane, in terms of darkness and ugliness.

    At least their laziness and lack of commitment works in the favor of education, for once. But I wonder what the parents in that county think of their lazy, obviously-doesn’t-give-two-shits school board.

    That sucks about Benjamin Button sucking. I’d still like to see it, though. People keep saying how it’s all magical and sweet. And I loves me some sugary magic.

  19. I just saw this today. I had no idea this was Forrest Gump 2. LOL

  20. Hmm . . . I dunno, I kinda liked the AIDs. . . .

  21. I just saw this today. I had no idea this was Forrest Gump 2. LOL

    Hahahah. That’s hilarious. Funny though, I never thought it was like Forrest Gump while I was watching it. I just thought it was trite and shallow, with the occasional bit of good photography.

    Sorry Vittles, ‘taint no sugary magic. Just a load of balls!

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