Something’s magical about the season

Yes sir, there’s something magical about the holiday season alright. The closer we get to Christmas, the more obnoxiously in your face Christians are, swelled with Christmas smugness like a tick bloated with blood. Take for instance Mr. Messinger here, spinning a tale of the magic of not just Christmas, but of Christianity of course, which converted the once (gasp) atheist C.S. Lewis “after subjecting Christianity to the toughest intellectual tests”, and making “opposing armies put down their arms” on Christmas Eve in WWII. (Funny thing about that, you see, it was WWI, not WWII. Apparently no Christmas magic left for WWII. In fact, there wasn’t even much of that magic left for most of WWI, since the informal truce was a one time thing in 1914, and no records of such a thing being repeated in 1915, 1916 or 1917 exist, but, you know, whatever, he’s rolling.)

Jackass goes on to suggest the Egyptians, Babylonians, Hindus, Greeks and Romans all had similar morality to our own, and what does that mean? Why, that’s evidence of the “Law of Nature”, some fanciful decency written onto everyone’s equally fanciful soul, and then asks, “what is the source of this almost universal Law of Nature?” Dying to know, right? Well he doesn’t say, but, you know, there is that “phenomenon of Christmas”, and “if this is an illusion, how can it happen all over the whole world on one special day in the year?” Yes, I’m sure China is brimming over with Christmas cheer, and oh, the faces of all those children in the Middle East and Africa waiting for Santa! Warms your heart, doesn’t it? I love the finish too – “I think even an atheist yearns to be with loved ones on Christmas Day.”

I gotta tell you, I yearn to punch assholes like this in the chops on Christmas day. Between the War on Christmas crap and the ignorant ramblings about the magic of Christmas and the fucking bullshit miracle claims and the “oh, why else would everyone be so nice?” crap (which is bullshit if you’ve ever had to drive on Christmas day), FUCK! It makes me want to hurl. You know what Christmas time reveals to me? It’s like a little ‘what if?’ window. What if Christians ruled without restraint? Yeah, we’d see that magic alright, that shove it down your throat magic of might makes right Christianity uber alles shit where they’d drag everyone to church and make you praise their god and say “Merry Christmas” again and again and again and if you resisted, you’d be tortured or burned like in the good ol’ days. Yup, magical alright. The magic of majority rule, of putting your damn mangers on city halls across the country, excluding all others’ displays.

Let’s talk two laws of nature:
1) Majority rule tends to be ugly
2) Colder days with waning amounts of sunlight are depressing and warrant some kind of a morale boost.

No magic, just obvious facts. Historically humans have celebrations at solstices. Make it a celebration of nature, the sun, the Earth, Thor, Mithra, Santa Claus, Jesus, the pending NFL playoffs, or whatever excuse you want, it just happens. This is why the Christians moved their Jesus b-day to December, to glom on to the already happening festivities in most places around the world. Reason for the season? Try the season was the reason from the beginning, and if there was some thing that wrote nice morals into everyone, then how about tapping into them this season, Christians, and enough with the obnoxiousness. Yeah yeah, we get it, you’ve got a holiday coming.

Nod to The Chaplain for pointing me to the ridiculous opinion article.

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13 Responses to “Something’s magical about the season”

  1. Wow, you are really pissed off! The article you linked to oozes and drips with the self-righteous attitude that holier-than-thou Christians will be shoving at us for the next month. There were similar articles last week about Thanksgiving and how terrible atheists must feel about having no one to thank…. ARGH!

    Perhaps the best way to enjoy the season will be to turn off the TV (except to watch the football games) and leave the newspapers in their wrapped in their plastic wrappers. On the other hand, it’s entertaining to read the comments sections of some of these articles – the freethinkers are great at egging on the nuts.

  2. There’s really no analogy you can make to Christians at Christmas. No other group on their special day would either compel you to comply with their holiday or have the audacity to suggest that your joy at that time is magically due to their nutty beliefs. The whole “reason for the season” crap really pisses me off, what with the facts that the season was celebrated LONG before Christianity and the reason for Christmas being celebrated on Dec 25 was to glom onto the already celebratory season!

    Look, I get the pushing of Christmas by retailers. That’s understandable, but all the other shit is simply obnoxious and insulting as well. The rampant ignorance of this clown amplifies the fact that all of this is make believe. Who cares if the facts are correct? ugh

    And no, I don’t get sad and lonely being an atheist at X-mas.

  3. One of the Christian bloggers I followed shouted “McCarthyism” when he heard that gays in California were outing businesses whose owners had supported Prop 8. Of course, he was not nearly as upset by Focus on the Family urging its followers not to patronize stores that put “Happy Holidays” in their windows rather than “Merry Christmas.”

  4. Both are equally fair. The Christians have the right to not patronize a business for whatever reason, as does anyone else for that business’ position on Prop 8. I don’t see what the problem is. Surely the Christians and anyone else anti-gay would be inclined to patronize the anti-gay businesses and if they REALLY are the “moral majority”, what’s the problem? Why, the “outing” of their positions should create business for them, no? The so-called McCarthyism would be free, positive advertising, right? They should be thanking all those yahoos with their crazy ideas about equal rights.

    Of course, if that Biblically fueled anti-gay sentiment is not or nowhere near the majority opinion, then that might be bad, but hey, their god wouldn’t allow anything bad to happen to them, right? Their businesses couldn’t possibly be jeopardized for supporting their god’s will, could they? He wouldn’t let that happen, would he?

    ’tis the season of heightened lunacy and amplified religious nonsense.

  5. Maybe I’ve been watching too much porn lately, but that picture seems a little suggestive. Is that a crucifix themed dildo he’s gagging on?

  6. It’s the Jesus Jackhammer. It makes for quite the stocking stuffer. Order now to ensure delivery before X-mas. A nice compliment is the Baby Jesus Buttplug. Operators are standing by, so don’t delay!

    Frankly, there were far worse places I could have gone to in order to visualize the idea of having Christianity shoved down our throats at Christmas. Be thankful this was it. Must be evidence of that Christmas magic tempering my visuals. ;)

  7. Nice post PhillyChief. As soon as Thanksgiving ends, Christmas always seems to begin, if it can even wait until after the Turkey is cut (but sometimes they fuck up and even impose their bullshit on our great American Holiday even while eating the turkey). Grumble!

  8. Nice song to go with the Jesus-Jackhammer. I always liked that song, even though it is straight-up propaganda.

    My brain, is an awesome brain, it reigns from the head above, with wis-dom power and sexual love, my brain is an awesome brain.

  9. Correction …. “My brain, is an awesome brain, it reigns from the head above, with wis-dom power and desire, my brain is an awesome brain.”

  10. Ugh christmas! I'm looking foreword to it being over. It really is almost intolerable. It's so in your face. My family gets angry if I say anything negative about it. I haven't quite figured out how to get around christmas yet. Last year I gave money to bums in my families name, that was fun.

  11. Christmas doesn’t bother me one bit. It’s the Christians that do, and retailers.

  12. A Black Christmas

  13. I can really understand the way you are talking and when someone is really depressed he uses to talk in this way. We should really be caring about the people that are having such conversation with you.

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