Away in a manger on government property…


I know, Halloween hasn’t even hit yet and I’m talking X-mas. Thing is, there are a couple of stories that caught my attention today. The first, a bit of good news, comes from Green Bay. Well actually, it’s tentatively good news. The Advisory Committee voted in favor of keeping the religious crap off of City Hall property and now the City Counsel has to vote on it, but there are already signs they’re going to go with the crap of how it’s ok if you have Christian shit if you have other shit, too. Now this may sound fair, but it’s not by a long shot. Ignoring the issue of Separation of Church and State for a moment to simply consider the farcical idea that a manger is ok as long as you have a Menorah or something too, in the interest of fairness, can’t you see that it would be impossible to be completely fair? There’s the issue of whether each religion’s display is as big as the others. You can’t have one bigger than the rest, that wouldn’t be fair. Then there’s placement, which you know each group would complain about, charging another group got the best spot which would be unfair. Even if you had a lottery of sorts for the spots, there would still be grumblings, so face it, it’s impossible to fairly have each religion represented.

Now what I described was a situation where they’d actually be trying to let each religion have a chance of being displayed, but even that is bullshit. As seen in the article, they’re already talking about simply hanging more candy canes and crap to magically “secularize” the manger scene. Then you have this crap where after receiving a ton of calls complaining about the decision to not have a Nativity scene, an Ohio mayor changed his mind. Either fearing for his own popularity or bolstered by knowing he has massive Christian support to piss on the Constitution for Christ, Mayor Mavis will have a manger at City Hall. Also in that article, there’s a very important example of how even my earlier example of fair play isn’t possible, because the Governor (ordained minister) ordered mangers displayed but denied the Zoroastrians and other “pagans” the chance for representation. Check this:

“The governor believes that Nativity scenes are an established and appropriate part of our American holiday displays, and he does not believe that holiday displays at state parks need to come down,” spokesman Keith Dailey said.

So I got to thinking, what always comes up in these Christian excuses to infuse Christ into government? Tradition. In so many words, the arguments always go to “well that’s how it’s always been”. Notice the “Nativity scenes are an established and appropriate part of our American holiday displays“. With this in mind, I think we’re going about this the wrong way. Sometimes, rather than working so hard to defeat people, all you have to do is give them enough rope and they’ll hang themselves. With that in mind, here’s my new strategy – Black Jesus.

Why not instead argue for the manger scene to have all blacks? Maybe you bring up the historical ridiculousness of having Aryan characters as 2000 year old middle easterners. Maybe you bring up the need for racial diversity. Hell, maybe you just argue that the manger is racist. It doesn’t matter. The point is, let’s see how they squirm trying to figure out how to deny Black Jesus. Oh you know they’ll deny Black Jesus. We’re talking about “Real Americans” here, and places affectionately known as “Real America” by the current crop of McCarthy wannabe Republicans. Make no mistake, fairness, equality, rights, these things don’t matter to people caught up in this crap. The hanging extra candy canes isn’t about seriously toning down the affect of the manger, but merely a hoop they’ll gladly jump through to get their religion, and ONLY their religion, displayed. At the heart of that is a selfish, bigoted, fuck everyone else mentality. Oh they can go through the motions and seem to play nice nice, but I really think that’ll go right out the window if you force Black Jesus on them. Well at least they’ll be able to reuse their monkey dolls and Curious George crap from their Obama protests to protest Black Jesus.

Note: The Black Jesus here is a painting from the 1960s, artist and source unfortunately unknown.

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10 Responses to “Away in a manger on government property…”

  1. What a devious strategy. Are you sure you’re not a closet politician?

  2. What if they use sugar-free candy canes?

    Or how about putting bin Laden in the cradle, with a black king, a red king, and a yellow king, and the animals are all exotics from religious places – like llamas from Tibet (led by a lama, of course)?

    Or how about we just kill all the priests and lawyers and use the entrails to strangle the neocons? Quick, who said that?

  3. How about a fat buddha eating a flying spaghetti monster with some noodly appendages wrapped around the fork? (that qualifies as atheist mock art as far as I’m concerned, and therefore should be allowed)

  4. Black Jesus is not to be confused with Kwanzaa….mwahahaha, okay, good idea nonetheless.

  5. Buddha’s Lunch

  6. Or how about we just kill all the priests and lawyers and use the entrails to strangle the neocons? Quick, who said that?Will Shakespeare. Ask us a hard one next time.

  7. chappie –

    Almost right. It was actually from Willie Wiggledagger, as he was known to his known associates. Shakespeare was his stage name.

  8. Jesus (had he existed) probably wouldn’t have been black either (though certainly closer to it than European)!

    But guess who Jesus probably bore a pretty strong resemblance to (along with his followers)?

    Osama Bin Laden. I say use Bin Laden as the basic model and make him about 20 years younger.

    And that is likely to get under their skin even MORE than a black guy.

  9. John Evo – I wish I’d thought of that idea. You are positively evil.

  10. Nice one John Evo! By the way, Jesus probably smelled like BO since they didn’t have deoderant back then, and he probably had ED too since he supposedly never, er, “waisted his seed”.

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