Footprints for Children

I felt compelled to alter this Christian tool for brainwashing children into something more appropriate for the kids…

Update: It just dawned on me that some of you may not be familiar with the original…

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14 Responses to “Footprints for Children”

  1. Nice! I’m going to send this to my 3 year old niece.

    Hopefully this will get Chappy’s head back in the right place too!

  2. I think you should knit that onto a sweater for your dog.

  3. My kids, when they come along, are getting this painted on the wall of their nursery. That first line is magnificent.

  4. I just added the original, in case anyone hasn't seen that before

  5. Perhaps I should make another version, “Pawprints for Puppies”.

    This is the first time I’ve seen this footprint thing done like this. Usually you see it with a picture of a beach scene, but then those don’t look like they’re designed for children, just adults who think like children, and, you know, I’m a sucker for protecting the kiddies, so I felt compelled to modify this fucking thing. Glad you all like it.

  6. Cuteā€¦in the most pathetic sense.

  7. Since the Friendly Atheist is also a bit of a thief — and stole Philly’s work to post himself — I left this as part of a much longer comment at that blog.

    But here’s my own version of the Footprint poem:

    The Lord will always walk with you,
    And Santa Claus will, too.
    The Easter bunny joins them both.
    They’ll all be there for you.
    And don’t forget the fairy, Child,
    Who pays you for your tooth.
    The monster underneath your bed?
    He’s also based on truth.
    But as you grow much wiser, dear
    You won’t be so naive.
    And soon those guys will disappear.
    They’re only make-believe.

  8. Evo – my head is doing just fine.

    Philly – good work, as usual.

  9. Hey I saw it at Hermants place. Maybe you should get into writing kids books :)

    And whats wrong with Chappy’s head?

  10. Sean – it has too much information in it.

  11. Why don’t you do something with that silly poster of the 2 sets of footprints in the sand, where Jesus says “I carried you” when times were tough?

    Change it to something like “I split, because you whine too much” or something similar.

  12. Now I’m a lounge act, taking requests? LOL

    And no, I won’t do Freebird.

  13. That’s what happens when you get to be big and popular. Everybody wants a piece of you.

    How about Stairway to Heaven?

  14. Well I don’t think you need any special graphic treatment. You just take pre-existing crap like this and add on to the text:

    Then out from under his robes came Santa Clause,
    the Tooth Fairy and Capt. Morgan,
    and they all held hands and said,

    “We’ve all helped carry you, ya putz”
    as they began to dance.

    It was then I realized it was all a dream,
    and that it is I who carry them since
    they don’t really exist.

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