So lately Mrs. Chief and I have been looking for a home. Now is quite an exceptional time to buy, since housing prices are falling while interest rates are also low and still slipping. Another reason why this is an excellent time to buy is because we Chiefs are VERY particular people, and in this market, we’re hardly rushed. Sellers are approaching desperation in many cases, and we’ve heard all kinds of offers from sellers about what they’d do to help sell their homes.
Now many people have invested money into remodeling rooms or their entire homes, or the homes for sale are flips, meaning someone bought it cheap because it was in crappy shape and they remodeled in order to sell for a profit (ie. – “flipping” the house). Now for what I’m ranting about today, I can almost excuse the latter types, but the former? Well, their thinking, imo, is part of what’s wrong with America. I call it, “it has the look of…”
First, let me say what I’m going to describe infuriates me to no end. It’s the idea of buying something that, in theory, has the look of something which you really can’t afford but you want anyway. Take for instance, cars. Lots of people woudl like to have a luxury sedan from Lexus or BMW. Sometimes there are fairly decent models from a lower strata, but essentially, if you want a quality luxury sedan, you’re going to have to pay big money. Ah but wait! Those Koreans make an affordable sedan. Problem solved, right? No, it’s a piece of crap. Face it, you can’t afford quality but rather than find a cheap alternative that’s comparable, you just bought something that broadcasts to the world that you’re a dumbass who’s either cheap or can’t afford what they want. Another area where you see this is tvs. Hey, that’s great you have a 56″ flatscreen. Only $699 at Walmart, huh? Coby? Oh look, the lettering looks just like Sony. Too bad the picture doesn’t look like Sony, jackass.
So what’s this got to do with houses? Here’s a short list of “has the look of” which are examples of what I’ve been describing:
• wood veneer cabinets
• “wood” veneer cabinets
• laminate counter tops with a “granite finish”
• Bathfitter bathrooms
• plastic railings and fences
• vinyl flooring
All shit that someone put in to have the look of something else, something that’s actually good, instead of crap. Possibly my #1 pet peeve is Bathfitters, and I have their own tv ads to thank for that. In them, they show a nasty ass tub and shower with mold and filth and the next day, like magic, you have this new bathroom. Well the “magic” is they have a prefab plastic shell that fits over your old space. Why, they even make them to look like it’s made of tile. So hopefully you have the same question I had when I saw the ad – so is all that filth still there, just sitting and festering underneath that plastic sheath? Who knows? Only the homeowner (maybe) and Bathfitters. Uh, no thanks. Besides, it looks like shit. You know, my grandmother had her furniture covered in plastic. That looked like shit, too.
So house after house we see Bathfitters, fake wood, fake granite, fake metal, and fake stone, but hey, it has the look of the real thing! Gosh, does that mean I can buy the house with Monopoly money? It has the look of real money, as well as that shit has the look of the real things they’re supposed to be emulating.
The whole thing is systemic of delusional thinking. Nevermind fixing something correctly, or buying something of quality, as long as it has the look of real quality, or close enough so that someone who wishes and believes hard enough, can pretend things are the way they wish them to be. Well that shit doesn’t work for levees when hurricanes hit, it doesn’t work for “creative” accounting which makes institutions seem more financially strong then they are, it doesn’t work for continuing to trust wealth in the hands of the few when it’s obvious they’re just for themselves, it doesn’t work for pretending some lipsticked pig will magically be ready to lead the country if need be, it doesn’t work for trying to convince me we’re safe because of color coded alerts and plenty of plastic and duct tape, it doesn’t work for pretending the Constitution can be ignored when it suits us, and it sure as shit doesn’t work to try and sell me a house that has the look of a nice house when actually, it’s just a lipsticked pig.
FYI, a special hint to realtors: it REALLY doesn’t help sell a home if you’re 15 minutes late to start an Open House, and the first thing you do when you get there is go to the bathroom and take a shit.