Jesus, Iranian Style

I saw this odd story in Variety today (and before you ask, no, I don’t read Variety but I was waiting for a meeting today and a copy was laying out) about how Iranian TV is producing this 20 episode miniseries on Jesus called “Jesus, Spirit of God”. Muslims of course believe Jesus was just a prophet, not divine.

“It is important to show our history before the Islamic revolution,” said CMI managing director Mohammed Reza Abbasian. “These episodes of religious history and Iranian history are very popular with Iranian audiences. We want to show the opinions of Islam toward the prophet. This story came from the Koran without any changes. You could call it Jesus through Islam’s lens.”

Some of the amusing things for me were that they say it’s a “faithful adaptation of the life of Jesus” yet he’s blonde and very white. Huh? And that the filmmaker, Nader Talebzadeh, tried to hand deliver a copy to Mel Gibson only to be intercepted by bodyguards who promised to get it to his holiness, the most lethal of weapons, the Road Warrior, Big Mel ‘I make women wear catholic burkas in my church’ Gibson. Apparently he’s not as accessible as he was portrayed in South Park. Also, Iran tried marketing it to Arab TV but they’re against showing the faces of prophets. No word yet from the Mel, but I doubt he’d like it since it’s said this Iranian depiction doesn’t have the gratuitous violence and escapes being snuff porn with Jesus *WARNING: SPOILER ALERT* saved from the cross by god and taken straight to heaven. So let’s recap – it’s kindler and gentler than the christian version, Arab’s are more religiously uptight than Iranians, and the muslim view of Jesus is he was blonde and pale. Fascinating!

To do my due diligence, I googled and found this mention of the project on Iran-daily (note: as a result of going to that site, I”m probably now on the FBI list or some other super secret group’s list and since the link is here and you’re here too, now you’re on the list so you might as well click the link). What’s entertaining is the far less politically correct story compared to Variety’s coverage:
“When the Day of Judgment comes, the Christians will realize that Islam is the only way to salvation of mankind and it will be presented to them by Christ the Redeemer”
The director noted that the film is made to revive the Gospel of Barnabas, since it focuses on 15 detailed sermons by Jesus mentioned in the Gospel of Barnabas but distorted throughout history.
“We wanted to tell the Christians that many of the beliefs they cherish today are not that of Jesus’ but distorted verses,“ he said.
Commenting on overseas screening of the film, Talebzadeh said that since ’Jesus’ is a religious film it would have no chance of participating in festivals which are under the influence of Zionist circles.

I bet you never thought you wanted to watch something on Iranian TV before, did you?

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12 Responses to “Jesus, Iranian Style”

  1. Iran tried marketing it to Arab TV but they’re against showing the faces of prophets.

    I love how they think TV is real or something.

    “I’m against all of the violent TV shows because I think enough people are already getting killed on the streets. Shouldn’t we stop all of this unnecessary killing just to tape a TV show?”

  2. 20 Episodes! What are they doing – depicting every verse of every gospel one by one?

  3. Jesus H. Christ…

  4. Translation?

    The Abrahamic religions are fucked up.

  5. You know something? That Jesus is really creepy looking.

  6. Well, at last, the perfect marriage of Christian nonsense and Islamic extremism. Now if they can get all those Jews to sell it in Hollywood, it’ll be a triple whammy. Maybe Barbra Streisand singing the sound track?

  7. Dude, that’s not Jesus… it’s Ted Nugent!

  8. I love him hand delivering a copy to Cardinal Gibson. An Iranian guy walking up to a mansion in Malibu carrying a package . . .that doesn’t look suspicious or anything. He is lucky he wasn’t arrested.

    And yes I want to see it now.

  9. Nugent?
    The first time that I got it
    I was just 4 years old
    I got it from some nutter next door
    I started asking questions and
    That was the cure
    And I don’t get it no more

    They give me fundie fever
    Fundie fever

    TV is real Evo, all of it.
    I just had to dispel that myth to some people online who were pointing to the show Ghost Hunters as some sort of proof of ghosts. These people are allowed to vote. That needs to change. Hamilton is looking more right with every passing year.

    Sometimes you can step back away from this stuff Ex and it looks like the comments section of JP’s blog.

    20 episodes is amazing, but so is doing it for only $5 million. I’m guessing no budget for special effects. Pity. But the next one should have some effects. $20 million budget for the Technicolor Coat (I forget the name).

    Yupper, it’s all fucked up. Reminds me of Ex’s idea of giving Disney control of the holy land.

  10. Philly:
    Sometimes you can step back away from this stuff Ex and it looks like the comments section of JP’s blog.

    I think the comments section on JP’s blog looks like Plato’s fucking Symposium compared to this wackadoodle stuff.

  11. If this is a statue then I am sure to see it because I am always interested to know about these types of things. I am sure to know about the things that are always interesting to me.

  12. The Abrahamic religions are fucked up.

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