Well get yours while you can, Floridians, because as this article reports there’s a bill pending to finally make bestiality a first degree felony, but there’s some hope for you farmyard fuckers, apparently there’s still room for compromise to lessen the penalty in order for it to pass. Let me repeat that, there’s still room for compromise to lessen the penalty in order for it to pass. Yes, there seems to be concern that although there’s probably enough votes to pass, there might not be enough Representatives to think bestiality is THAT bad. Oh Florida, if it weren’t for you providing a place for most of our seniors to die, I think we’d have to let you go.
This especially got my attention because while arguing with some religious moron on another site, he gave the usual stupid response in regards to gay marriage – it’ll lead to polygamy, pedophilia and bestiality. Real quick, let me explain why that’s stupid. The issue is concerning consenting adults so that eliminates the pedophilia and yes, it doesn’t say explicitly adult “human”, but the implication is very clear (well, everywhere but Florida up until now), so goodbye bestiality argument. What’s that leave us? Multiple spouses. Well personally I don’t care about that but that would be a whole new argument, wholly separate from same sex marriage and I fail to see what if any precedent would be set in same sex marriage that would give the multiple spouses argument a legal leg to stand on. That would be an entirely new and independent argument with countless legal ramifications not present in the same sex marriage issue. One that comes to mind immediately is not being able to compel a spouse to testify in court against their spouse. It’s easy to imagine a criminal organization suddenly declaring all it’s members married to escape subpoenas.
So that got me thinking, where does Florida stand on gay marriage? Well it just refused to recognize a gay marriage. Alrighty, well what else does Florida deem unseemly? It’s illegal to participate in oral sex, illegal to have an erection that shows through your clothes, and it may just be illegal to have sex with another human in Florida if a judge decided that sex was “lascivious”:
A person who commits any unnatural and lascivious act with another person commits a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083
There’s also still a law on Florida’s books that says sodomy will get you 60 days in jail and a $500 fine (this was invalidated by 2003 Supreme Court decision Lawrence v Texas, but you’d still have to go to court if someone really wanted to, um, fuck you over). So in other words, Florida feels compelled to call all this unseemly and illegal, yet animals? Up until this bill passes, no problem. Well I guess at least they’re starting to wake up, but they still have a long way to go. As Janeane Garofalo said in some forgettable chick flick I was made to watch some years ago, you can love your pet, but just don’t LOVE your pet. Got that Florida? Now if you can just learn to love each other more.