This is just too funny. A pastor here in Philadelphia who has had his driver’s license suspended until 2011 for racking up over $11,000 for not paying 55 violations including reckless driving, driving without a license, careless driving without registration, and driving without insurance, is running for judge of traffic court. No wait, it gets better. At a prayer thing before a big motorcycle outing, he says:
“I’m telling you all just like it is. I need some money. I got some stuff that I got to do, but if you all can give me $20. You’re all going to need me in Traffic Court, am I right about that?”
His lawyer is claiming that he did nothing wrong and “Everyone needs a friend in Traffic Court. You need a friend in Traffic Court. He was just promising people they would get a fair trial.” Yeah, and the going rate for friendship is about $20. $100 is better, but you’ll have to write out a check. Now I’ve heard of pandering to people and making promises on a campaign, but this is the boldest thing I’ve heard yet. Of course in private speeches, like say when Republicans meet with religious leaders or say when Dick made the rounds to his buddies at say Haliburton, some serious shit has probably been promised by candidates but this guy is all open about it, speaking at a public event. Well I guess a transparent cheat is better than a secretive cheat. Anyway, I suppose as a pastor this guy has experience passing around a collection bucket to milk people out of their money in exchange for promises that can’t be kept.
Incidentally as someone who doesn’t believe in posted speed limits, it’s tempting not to send in a donation. Unfortunately most of my driving is not done within the city limits. Anyone have a list of traffic court judges or cops I can “make a donation” to outside of Philly, and also in Delaware? You know, so I can have “friends” out there, because I could use those kinds of friends. Damn lucky I don’t have to drive much. Well actually, damn lucky for some others driving because if I had to deal with idiots driving slow in the left lane, swirving all over as they try and text and drive,
changing lanes without looking or using a signal, braking for no damn reason, and then giving me the finger for being upset with their driving, well, there’d be people I’d be fitting for a tire iron. Man, that’s when I’d need some “friends” in court.