With a "Friend" like this…

This is just too funny. A pastor here in Philadelphia who has had his driver’s license suspended until 2011 for racking up over $11,000 for not paying 55 violations including reckless driving, driving without a license, careless driving without registration, and driving without insurance, is running for judge of traffic court. No wait, it gets better. At a prayer thing before a big motorcycle outing, he says:
“I’m telling you all just like it is. I need some money. I got some stuff that I got to do, but if you all can give me $20. You’re all going to need me in Traffic Court, am I right about that?”

His lawyer is claiming that he did nothing wrong and “Everyone needs a friend in Traffic Court. You need a friend in Traffic Court. He was just promising people they would get a fair trial.” Yeah, and the going rate for friendship is about $20. $100 is better, but you’ll have to write out a check. Now I’ve heard of pandering to people and making promises on a campaign, but this is the boldest thing I’ve heard yet. Of course in private speeches, like say when Republicans meet with religious leaders or say when Dick made the rounds to his buddies at say Haliburton, some serious shit has probably been promised by candidates but this guy is all open about it, speaking at a public event. Well I guess a transparent cheat is better than a secretive cheat. Anyway, I suppose as a pastor this guy has experience passing around a collection bucket to milk people out of their money in exchange for promises that can’t be kept.

Incidentally as someone who doesn’t believe in posted speed limits, it’s tempting not to send in a donation. Unfortunately most of my driving is not done within the city limits. Anyone have a list of traffic court judges or cops I can “make a donation” to outside of Philly, and also in Delaware? You know, so I can have “friends” out there, because I could use those kinds of friends. Damn lucky I don’t have to drive much. Well actually, damn lucky for some others driving because if I had to deal with idiots driving slow in the left lane, swirving all over as they try and text and drive,
changing lanes without looking or using a signal, braking for no damn reason, and then giving me the finger for being upset with their driving, well, there’d be people I’d be fitting for a tire iron. Man, that’s when I’d need some “friends” in court. ;)

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4 Responses to “With a "Friend" like this…”

  1. As one who has had the misfortune of passing through the Philadelphia Traffic Court (transgressions of an impetuous youth) I can tell you that place is a circus. I am reminded of “Let’s make a deal” with Monty Hall seated atop the bench. Deals are bandied about and haggling occurs making it feel like a middle eastern bazaar. I would advise any who receive a ticket in Philadelphia to take them up on their offer to go to court. Haggle on! The frightening thing about all this is how mainstream this notion of quid pro quo politics has become. This guy is pandering for bribes! You gotta love it!

  2. I’ve only had one experience in Philly traffic court and yes, it was just as you describe, Vince. The suburbs are a much different situation. They take it all serious. My advice for the suburbs, no matter how mundane the issue, is bring a lawyer to their courts. They will fuck you, hard.

    I have not experienced DE court, but their fines are much lower. Maybe it’s the lack of sales tax. You gotta love DE.

  3. I’m just happy you are feeling well enough to drive… and write!

    Welcome back and avoid left-overs for a while.

  4. So much for Christian morality!

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