I just had a really weird thought while taking my dog out to shit which goes to this whole religious diversity thing. You know how when christians get their shit bumped from government property, they often try to get it back by allowing other religions to have their shit there, too? Can’t have a nativity scene? Oh, well we’ll include a big menorah and some bowl of fruit or something for kwanzaa. See, everyone’s represented so it’s ok now. Well no, it’s not ok now. When is the answer to shit adding more varieties of shit?
I live in a development where people with dogs are expected to pick up after them. The grounds are there for all of us to enjoy. Now imagine if you’re sitting on the grass and someone walks by with their dog, stops, has it shit and then starts to walk away. Well I’d be angry. I think you’d be, too. Now say you complain to the person and they say, “oh hold on, I’ll make this right” and they get some friends who also have dogs, a wide variety of dogs, to come over and promptly have their dogs shit on the grass, too.
“There” the person says, “now it’s fair”.
“No it isn’t!” you exclaim.
“Yeah but now it’s not just my dog’s shit but everyone’s dog’s shit” he explains. “We’re all equally represented now”.
“But there’s not supposed to be ANY shit!” you shreak.
To extend the analogy, I’ve also noticed how whenever there is one religion’s shit somewhere, the other religions take notice and promptly want to deposit their own shit right next to it. This is no different than when dogs identify a steamy pile, they often respond with a pile of their own, or at least piss on the existing shit. Same damn thing.
Now hey, if you have your own yard and you want to have it covered with your dog’s shit, knock yourself out. It wouldn’t be my choice but it’s your yard and I’m not going to try and prevent you from filling your yard with shit, but when it comes to shared property, common property that we all have to pay to maintain and subsequently use and enjoy, I’m not going to put up with your dog’s shit everywhere and having everyone else’s dog shit here as well does not make it any better. I want to walk on the grounds here not smelling shit, not getting shit on me and certainly not accidentally tracking it back into my house. To paraphrase Graham Chapman from the infamous Spam sketch (as well as his voice saturated with the sound of agitation and frustration), “I don’t like shit!”.